It is still dark outside, and I am restless. Here in the quiet, with warm coffee, there is a stillness of knowing. It is a quiet content-ness that here, now, all is well. All is as it was meant to be.
In the years to come, there will be an unknowing of those who now sleep under this roof. It will be an unknowing of place, of safety, of direction, and of purpose. I will ask bigger questions in the days to come. I will lean into my own sunsets and quiet closings. I will remember the lives of those who have left this earth, and I will carry the heaviness of all the things that I should have done. The heaviness of the moments I wasted, the words unspoken, and the mountains unclimbed.
Today, I can choose to move towards the lessening of those memories to come. Today is still before me. It is unwritten. Today is still waiting for my creator and I to determine how we will compose it. Let me begin this day with wonder, with kindness, and without regret. Let me love as if today could bravely be remembered with a smile.
Edit on January 6th: I now realize this is known as "Dès Vu: the Awareness That This Will Become A Memory).